


As You So Desire, My Highness

by minhyunbin



Category: JBJ (Band), NU'EST, Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Butlers, Drama, M/M, Master/Servant, Other, Romance, Slow Burn, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-10
Updated: 2018-08-21
Packaged: 2019-03-29 13:38:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13928232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minhyunbin/pseuds/minhyunbin
Summary: On the outskirts of Seoul, an elites-only academy has withstood the passing of time for over a hundred years. Founders, innovators, leaders: the school is founded on the believe to support and connect the cream of the crop and build a nation's future - essentially, a school for the rich and wealthy. Within the same campus, housed the butler academy, professionally trained personal butlers, assigned to each and every second-year elites based on social status and familiar connections. Second-year student, Hwang Minhyun, was no exception to the assignment. A cream-coloured envelop delivered to his house at the start of the new semester had revealed a familiar name that got caught in his throat, and sealed the fate of his remaining school years.Or rather, his fate was sealed the moment Kwon Hyunbin disappeared from his life in the prime summer of their teens, till they meet again.





	1. (mis)match

**Author's Note:**

> This came by a spur of the moment, much like everything else, I supposed. This time, I want to do something that goes with the flow and something that I'd be able to hopefully complete. Chapter-ed fiction scares me, because of the commitment and the worries that I might not be able to do a good ending...but I want to have fun and see how much I can spin on the go, so this fic is born. Hope you enjoyed it, and leave me lots of comments. ; o ; — yours sincerely, Sonagi♡

_Bright._

The rays of the setting sun was unrelenting today, scattering into the classroom through the floor length glass windows. Everything was a warm shade of orange, thanks to the otherwise white furniture in the room, with black and gold accents as the only exceptions. If one were to place their hands on the cool windows, they could feel the the seeping heat rubbing against the windowpane, almost begging for permission to enter the room, but the cooling air-condition prohibited any of that nonsense. The sun was bared from the sacred arena besides the allowance of its rich hues, as the students rose from their seats in an uniform bow to the departing professor.

This was Minhyun's personal favourite classroom, a place where modern literature was aptly taught within the Victorian-flaired campus with over a hundred-years of history. It was perhaps the most modern and minimalist spot in the academy, with high ceilings above the slightly elevated seating area facing the professor's desk. Ample light was allowed into the room in the day, and a large black board with a sliding ladder stood majestically up front, notes written during class like white ants across its surface. Wooden tables lined neatly in rows, as students sat with a space apart beside each other, alternating vertically every row so as not to obstruct one another's view. It's orderly in a satisfying manner, how human beings slip into their designated seats without question, how polite every student was with each other amid small smiles and quiet chatter. 

( He wondered how many harbored razor-sharp teeth behind their perfectly-capped ones, ready to rip him into shreds if he wasn't paying just the right amount of attention. )

For the most part, it was a quiet affair in the classroom. Even if the lesson had ended a handful minutes ago, half the class remained, engaged in their splendid conversations over current affairs and upcoming projects. From the corner of his eyes, he watched as they moved with practice ease, hand movements raised to articulate their thoughts, words carefully pronounced with each rise and press of their tongue against the back of their straight teeth. His eyes landed back onto the male seated in front of him, having moved his chair closer to align himself directly in place. Small talk, followed by a soft laugh with raised hand to cover his lips, Minhyun looked towards the doorway as a few people slipped into the classroom. 

There wasn't a pregnant silence at the newcomers; instead the voices changed, and some, their tones and accents altered. The male in front of him excused himself - Minhyun remembered him to be the heir of a Korean clothing brand, one that branched out into several subsidiaries under their belt. Minhyun vaguely recalled having received a sweater of that brand earlier last Winter, though he wasn't sure if it was a sign of goodwill, or merely a gift by someone within his household. There was no note along with it, which was normal - clothes sent from home was always like this, a simple gift from her sister or mother most of the time on their casual shopping spree. Yet, it wasn't usual for him to receive a set of clothes from them without a note, and thus he couldn't help but think in the other possibility. Part of him wondered if it was perhaps a form of unspoken bribery, because growing up, Minhyun learned that nothing in this world came free of charged.

There was always a hidden agenda if cash wasn't involved in the trade. Perhaps it was good will that would turned into a favor, or a form of apology to a previous spat. Something, somehow, lurked in the shadows behind the beautifully wrapped gifts, left for the person to unravel along with the slip of the ribbon from their fingertips.

"Shall we leave, _masternim_."

Eyes met with a longer pair, and Minhyun recognize the amusement dancing within the dark chocolate orbs. It appeared too on the upwards curl of his lips. His hair was combed back today, an old-school hairstyle that still performed wonders with that pretty face of his. Despite the neat appearance with his full uniform, a blue blazer with red mandarin collar, and a crisp white shirt underneath. But moving down, the black fitted pants was replaced with a pair of light-wash, ripped denim jeans.

A mismatch, from day one until now.

Uncrossing his legs, Minhyun stood up, lips pursed as he turned away from the taller male, striding ahead. He need not turn behind to see Hyunbin picking up his bag, and he could hear the sounds of wooden chairs being pushed roughly back into place against the carpeted floor just enough to paint a good look in his mind. In the past, these were things that he would do so himself, and insisted on doing in a silent but firm manner. Now, he decided not to. Not anymore.

"Let's."

* * *

The car ride home was quiet. Curled fist pressing into the sides of his cheeks as his elbow rested on the curve of the armrest, the flashing scenery reflected in his eyes were primarily ignored as thoughts clouded his mind. In the past, he used to prefer the privacy of his own ride, especially after earning his driving license a few months ago. Now, that joy was stripped from him, and he wondered if he would have preferred being in the backseat with a chauffeur instead. 

Then again, it would still mean he would be sitting side by side with Hyunbin, and that wasn't all that better an alternative.

So he made no request to change anything, allowing Hyunbin to drive all the way back to his apartment as the sun continued to fall between the cracks of the high-rise buildings looming in sight. The imagery of the younger was reflected upon the glass windows, with the signature smile playing on those lips. Minhyun pressed his together in a thin line, turning his view from the colorful signatures of the stores that all looked one too alike each other, giving up on reading the Hangul spelled on the circles and squares and rectangle.

From the corner of his eyes, the smile seemingly widened, but silence continued. 

* * *

"We have arrived, _your highness_."

There. There it was again. Brows furrowing together just for a split second, Minhyun eased the raised tension as he turned briefly to look at the other. The change in addressing irked him, like a circle block forced into a square-cut hole, fitting just nicely and falling through, as if purely by coincidence in the art of math and dimensions. What seemingly shouldn't work had worked.

 _A mismatch_.

And Hyunbin did it on purpose, interchanging between 'master' and 'highness' in public and private like a switch turned on and off, flickering lights scattering all over the place and sending confusing signals to his mind. Minhyun preferred neither, but he tolerated the former, simply based on the education caste he was thrown into since his birth. All through his life, he was prepared for it, served by the butlers of his parents and servants running in his household before moving out. Now, a daily domestic helper arrived to fix his breakfast, followed by a fixed set of chores that ended with a warm meal by the time he returned. A body guard, there for the first two months when he just moved into the two-room apartment, became a mere shadow of his memories when he proved more than capable of handling himself in an already well-guarded, expensive suite of a high-rise luxury apartment. It doesn't mean he's totally gone either, because occasionally, Minhyun could feel a set of eyes on him as he wandered down the dimly-lit path from the convenient store back to his accommodations. Out of sight, out of mind.

But he never prepared for Hyunbin.

_How could he?_

"I said, never to call me 'your highness'. You're going to get me into trouble, Hyunbin-ah."

"I believe it's merely my duty to address you with the fitted title. Using the other title in public was merely to cater to your situation, but in private, this is only proper, your highness."

Jaws clenched to withheld a sigh, Minhyun stared straight ahead as the gold-plaited doors closed upon them, encasing them in their quiet ascend to his private suite. Minhyun rarely took this route from the carpark, preferring to blend in with the masses by dropping by the plain elevators used by all residents of the apartment block. He very much enjoyed the ability to punch in a code to enter his apartment, just for the additional kicks that proved as a measurement of his freedom to being left completely alone. Now, that has changed. As if the blatant grandeur of the academy wasn't enough, these gold walls of a moving box seemed to taunt him of his fate, and such blatancies were distasteful.

In the reflections of themselves, each man to one plane of gold mirrors separated by a thin slit where the doors meet, he noticed the untuck shirt. Hyunbin never bothered to button up his blazer, nor tuck in his shirt. Uniforms seemed like a foreign concept to this male of the 21st century, and the disregard of rules would have made better sense if his words weren't as uptight as his dressing. In contrast, Minhyun stood with straightened posture, leather shoes pressed against each other. The gold rims of his black blazer blended into the reflective doors, but the crisp and tucked white shirt and black tie was straight, prim, and proper. Tidy was an understatement to the shorter male. 

But what was the most mismatched about Hyunbin, wasn't his unbuttoned blazer, nor the dirty cream sneakers. It was the polite smile, fixed onto his handsome features like a wax figure he's seen at Madame Tussaud's as a mere child.

The same ones that they, had seen as children.

The door slipped over with a soft parting of air, and a completely different room loomed in sight. Gone was the obnoxious gold, but a land of white, black and the occasional coppers in the room. The living room had a high ceiling with an open-air concept, and in the distance he could see the food being laid out neatly, metal lids covering the dishes on the wooden table that could fit four at ease, and six with a squeeze. To the right, white blocks forming a gradient of stairs lead to the loft, where his bedroom was, giving him an overview to the living room and joining kitchen. The blinds were still up, letting in the last glimpse of the sun into the wide space.

Expert hands held onto the shoulders of his blazer as Minhyun stepped away and out of it, rotating his shoulders backwards once before he slipped out of the shoes and into a comfortable pair of home slippers in light grey. Behind him, Hyunbin's 'welcome home' rang out loud and clear in the otherwise empty room, the domestic helper long gone, calculated hours of her work time planned down to the last five minutes to avoid the house's young master. Minhyun made no reply as he slipped away to the kitchen, admiring the handiwork of the helper. There was more than enough food for one, enough to feed two, in fact.

That doesn't matter.

He set the lid back over the dishes just as the blond descended from the stairs, wearing a pair of matching home slippers in black. As per routine, Hyunbin would hang up his blazer, which was to be worn for another day. His shoulder-bag would be placed neatly right beside his study desk in the bedroom instead of the actual study, for specific reasons Minhyun did not mention in the written slip of paper when their match started. 

Hyunbin, being the responsible butler he was, never questioned.

( It vexed him. It vexed him a lot. )

"What would be the first order of business, your highness?"

"Stop calling me that."

"Well, it-"

"That is the first order of business, Hyunbin-ah. This, is an order."

"...ah."

Minhyun watched. He watched the way realization settled on his face, but emotions were buried under that same smile as he nodded. In the last month, the elder wasn't sure if he got accustomed to seeing amusement hang on the corner of his lips when it was affixed to a polite smile. It was odd, how it could be so polite and taunting at the same time, and he wanted to rub that expression off his face and replace it with a new one. Any, one. 

He had hoped for something else, a light ripple of actual emotions perhaps, but none. 

Disappointment flashed upon his features, and Minhyun couldn't be bothered to hide it under his mask either. A month. A month of tolerating, of pulling the thread to see just how much it took for it to thin out and snap. He hadn't snap, but he was thinned out, spread out more than he could handle mentally. If Hyunbin had his never-ending smile plastered on his face, then Minhyun took to silence as an aggrevation, a quiet protest in the form of pursed lips and removed eye-contact, curt words and the contrasting gentle voice calling out the name like old times.

Of all the scenarios he would have imagine when Hyunbin disappeared in the mid of summer back in middle school, he would never imagined him to be standing opposite him in this manner. He grew taller, shoulders broader. The toothy youth from the days had grown to a fine young man, but the arms that tossed around his shoulders as they skipped down the roads in wide-eyed dreams were long replaced by the robotic movements from the butler academy. Even if his rebellious outfit gave a hint of hope, a hint of the _real_ him ( the only _him_ that  Minhyun ever knew ), it was dashed by the same words day after day. After all, Hyunbin had choose to withdraw that side of him, at least towards the raven, and he had finally resigned to that.

"I see. As you desire, masternim."

Minhyun turned around, not bothering to look at him any more. Orders didn't suit Hyunbin as much as it didn't suit him. 

Another mismatch.

"You're dismissed." 

His voice rang out this time as the fridge shut tight, and Minhyun still didn't bother to look up until the elevator doors closed with a metallic click, The taller male had left, and even after his departure, Minhyun could see the figure of a bowing male, wearing his dirty cream sneakers, and that mob of dirty blond locks disappearing into the private elevator. 

He heaved, and then dropped himself onto couch with a soft thud. The whole day's worth of tension eased out from his joints, the straightened posture no more as an audible sigh could be heard. 

And emptiness echoed in the living space, weighing down on the slouching young man staring into space.


	2. from the beginning

_Let's start from the beginning._

The academy Minhyun belonged to had over a hundred years of history. Modeled after European-styled palaces, the campus was situated well on the outskirts of Seoul and midway of a mountain, accessible only by private cars chauffeuring the students in and out every other day. Any other modes of transport were deemed quite nearly impossible. The nearest bus-stop was located a good hour's walk away, and cycling daily would take a toll even on the athletic, energetic students. For students that could not afford their own transport for one reason or another, the school dorms were made available. Granted, not all those who reside in campus came from families that could barely pay the tuition fees - it's another spot for socializing, and more families jump at the chance of that than one would expect. 

After all, this campus was all about forming a large, private network of the rich and wealthy, within and beyond that of South Korea. Everyone in his academy had a _title,_  like children pretending they're knights and witches in a fictitious fantasy game. They're heirs of a certain brand name, they're cousins of a powerful alumni, some, even associated with the royalty themselves. Following suit, they were identified by the brand of clothes they wear ( which ironically, the ones with the rarer brands were those special tailored by indie designers without an actual household-name became the current trend. Everyone could afford a Chanel, but only few could get a curated outfit from an upcoming designer that's only one in the whole world ), down to the people they were associated with. Only a few kids were special, granted a full scholarship thanks to their outstanding talents in the field of innovations while possessing needed social and leadership skills. These people never do truly fit themselves into the system, but grind and survive, and natural selection takes place regardless of how ready one was.

Life waits for no one, no matter how gifted you are.

Exquisite and magnificence, the palace was a whole design of spectacular opulence. The stone walls remained largely untouched save for the maintenance over the years, and most of the rooms, paintings and stained glass remained along with it. Several class rooms and lecture theaters has had a makeover to chase after the modern times, such as a better cable and PA system, or the English Literature classroom with a classic Scandinavian outlook. But one can still find the glorious ornate gold frames on hanging portraits of the school principals; the expensive carpets with hand-sewn designs that padded your feet in the main library; the crystal chandeliers hanging from the main dining area, gleaming under the sunlight as it swayed ever so slightly in the movements of the air.

In it, history was around every corner. Students breathed it in the air, and tell-tales of spotted haunting remained a popular open-air gossip down the corridors during lunch time. Minhyun has heard his fill of them as a child, enjoying and taking in the giggles as his friend screamed in terror at his mother's story. In the end, they would both end up getting tucked into bed by his mother, because one of them would not be able to stop their tears as imagination ran wild with just the flicker of the night light on. These days, they proved to be random snippets of entertainment on extremely slow days, but otherwise, he couldn't be bothered. Instead, he rather be awed by the intricate details of the architecture, in the true history of his eventual alma mater. The raven would never call himself a history buff, but he appreciated the hard work laid down by the founders, and the taste in the school library, a fine collection of old Korean text written in calligraphy ink and _hanja_ , to modern literature and poems.

( This was sealed the moment he spotted his guilty pleasure, The Moon Sculpture, seated on the shelves in his first year. )

Classes were held every weekday from morning to late afternoon, where a wide range of courses were made available. Every thing had its purpose, as people like them were always on the search of a purpose. No, usefulness. People like them were always on the search for usefulness. Thus, the syllabus was born. Philosophy, to keep an open mind and to find one's belief in life; literature, to enrich the vocabulary and knowledge of the words; nature sciences, to be one with the nature and understanding of the earth; political science, to be attuned with today's world and future challenges - to be the change the world needed. Year one was a mix of nearly everything, allowing one to enjoy the range of what they could do before seeking a more concise education tailored to their own interests and talents. To help build a sense of self-responsibility, or so they claimed. 

The lessons itself however, seemed more and more like a stage for meeting like-minded souls and perhaps, friends for life. For the raven, it was merely a way of finding out what he was good at, and what he enjoyed enough to pass time and fill the schedule for ample credits. The initial excitement, spilling over from childhood after hearing stories from his parents, has since faded off. Passing grades was as easy as making it to class, a feat not everyone could do once the term started for a month or so. To ace the courses were of course, another thing on its own, but graduating was never going to be a nightmare.

The school might have pledged itself as the academy for elites, with students hand-picked and recommended by a strict board should they fit the program, but Minhyun saw no different as a school for the affluent. Who else would able to afford the sky-high tuition if they weren't born with at least a silver spoon in their mouths? This is how the rich kept their wealth within those they view as deserving, to keep children with a background of histories long linked with the academy before they even existed. Minhyun's parents were from the same academy, so was her sister, and so was _everyone_ else's.

It is reasons why the rich gets richer, while the poor gets a raffle if they had the smarts, the skills _and_ the luck.

To put that further into perspectives, was the arrival of the butler academy. To some, the sound of a butler academy was dubious, if not hilarious. What would a butler need to learn from an actual school that they could not learn from hands-on experience in the real world? But clearly, the art of being a butler has always been a tad underwhelming, even if the new building on campus was an added entitlement to the rich kids on board. 

Yet, as new as it sounded, the butler academy had also existed for decades nearing to the hundreds. Who founded it, Minhyun had no idea, nor that he ever had the intentions to ask. It was unruly to poke his business into something else that doesn't concern him, for one; it was also viewed as unfavourabe for those to rule to question those to be ruled, for two. Regardless, the intentions for its existence were clear. For the best future leaders of their generation, were the best loyal servants to last the trials of time. 

They don't teach loyalty at the butler academy, not when loyalty is a personality trait rather than something taught with writings on a blackboard. Neither can they teach patience to those with a feisty heart and unstoppable urge to fidget in the stillness of the environment. Nevertheless, it was still an art. The art of service, _and the highest order of it_. Minhyun never quite realised until he moved out for his search of independence and freedom, but a personal butler grants one amazing power in different ways. 

Take for example, the hassle of planning a party. There were ideas, and there were insane ideas, the latter being more common among the wealthy folk. A perfect butler would be one to fulfill them to the best of their abilities, and more than often, exceed the expectations. If sir asked for gold balloons, one would expect gold balloons. If sir planned for thirty guests, there would be exactly thirty seats and cutlery, each shined to perfection that gleamed under the twinkle of light. Every fork placed and aligned neatly with the knife, and the spoons - for appetizer soup, for meals, for dessert in a western setting. For a traditional Korean meal, each silver pair of chopsticks was placed silently to the polished silver spoon, and each dish treated with the same care from its presentation in the kitchen to the exact spot it would be placed on the table. 

The results? An amazing feast finished with a shower of compliments, a silent power play between the host and the guests. Be impressive enough that the guests are willing to let themselves be wowed, and become the spotlight of each party you host. In this circle, you want to be at the top of it, the one where everyone else turned to their own butlers and say, 'I want my party like them, but better.' Always better.

That might a rudimentary and childish example, but the basic art of being a butler, is to become the saving grace of who they pledged their loyalty to.

Nothing else spelled a rich person's added privilege as clearly as this. 

* * *

Wait, let's start from the _beginning_.

As far as Minhyun could remember, Hyunbin had always been part of his life. His mother would often tease him about his affections when they were children, where her active one-year-old son would always calm down when he rests his small head against the bulging belly to where Hyunbin had called home. Growing up, the memories were almost always of the both of them. The elder did own a wide circle of friends since, people that he's met in school to other family friends from random afternoon tea sessions and more. There were always other people around him, but there was always Hyunbin, too. 

Three-year-old Minhyun holding a crying two-year-old Hyunbin in his tiny arms, patting him till they both fall asleep among the cushions and soft toys with tangled limbs. Hyunbin chewing on his pacifier with contentment, and Minhyun ended up with a stiff arm from being under the younger's weight.

Six-year-old Minhyun covering his eyes when Hyunbin broke his arm for the first time, falling off the tree they dared each other to climb. It was a random old tree, short enough to be a quick trek but still tall enough to give a bad injury should they suffer a bad fall. Hyunbin was hugging the branch a tad too thin, worn from age and bug-infestation from the earlier chilly Autumn. It snapped, and Minhyun could barely yell a 'watch out' before the younger dropped just a few feet away from him. He ended up holding the younger's other hand all the way to the hospital, wiping tears and snot of the wailing child with the handy handkerchief his mother made sure he had in his pockets.

Nine-year-old Hyunbin bursting into Minhyun's room asking to play and getting ignored, before throwing his lanky frame on top of his hyung without any regards. Minhyun had yelped, but stay still as he read, flipping pages one after another. The air stilled, and soon enough a quiet snore was felt more so than heard as Hyunbin snoozed, tired from whining in the last thirty minutes. He remembered setting the book aside any way, moving as slowly and quietly he could that he broke out in sweat just to tuck the younger in. He knew that Hyunbin had woken up at some point, but it seemed to be always like this. A play pretend, where one would feign ignorance when they were pampered by the other. 

Twelve-year-old Minhyun, wiping Hyunbin's tears and snot for the umpteenth time when he announced his plan to study in a public school for the first time. Homeschooled for the bulk of his childhood together, Minhyun ended up crying together with him, two boys leaking tears in a noisy manner as one tried to comfort the other with soothing but shaky pats on the back. He was shipped to school in the car as Hyunbin had chased after him, a view that both parents watched with amusement. Minhyun's mother would later describe it as an endearing re-enactment of the latest drama of that time, while his sister had laughed about how Hyunbin made it seem like he just witness a kidnapping. Both boys ended up having a large scoop of ice-cream in the evening to make up for the traumatizing event, and a year later, Hyunbin had caught up with him.

Fifteen-year-old Minhyun, now a boy with taller, healthy figure yet retaining his signature round cheeks, laying on the wooden floor of his private cabin. Hyunbin was there, naturally, a summer vacation that they both earned after a grueling exam. The summers of Korea were hot, heat permeating through the walls and despite the air conditioning, he could still feel the warmth wavering in the room. The heat made him lazy, made Hyunbin lazier, and they spent their first afternoons staring at the slow rotating ceilings as both took turns to recount the semesters' happenings. Which girl got it on with which girl. Who tried cheating in the last exam. Someone confessing to them...

The memories of a fifteen, still so pure, even if it's no longer naive. And soon they were forced to grow up, to realise there's a bigger world out there then playing games in the backyard or rushing last minute essays. There were things such as responsibilities and chips on their shoulders, things they were born to fulfill. 

Fifteen was the age of changes, and that summer, they both emerged from the cocoons of comforts as someone else.

They never got to see the someone else they both had became.

Until now.

* * *

Entering the second year, Minhyun received his cream-colored envelop, complete with the black and gold seal of the school's emblem. Despite his indifference to having a butler following his every step, it was a lie to say there was zero excitement. Every second-year student at his academy were assigned to a freshman from the butler academy. It almost seemed like the school viewed it as a reward for those who completed the introduction coursework of their four-year program, even if it was never written as such on paper, of course. 

The bonds from the match was to last the rest of the schooling years, till both parties graduate from their programs respectively. Each individual have to complete their own graded assignments, while both have to fulfill the commitments of the duo assignments. Like a group project of sorts, even though most of these relations became extended by years to a life contract, and school was merely a trial run. In the long history of both academies, the success rates were as high as 96-percent being offered a contract in one graduating cohort, the lowest being at around 70-percent. The formula to these assignments were never revealed, but social standing, personality tests and familiar recommendations were all conducted to make sure the best match was done. After all, grades were also on the line, as with one's whole future.

On that note, who wouldn't be excited, or at least mildly curious, about who their assigned partner was?

So in the second year, Minhyun's school life officially kicked off.

He supposed it would have started off with a better note if the letter enclosed had been just a dream, where the name inscribed was not the one that had been haunting the void of his mind for the last few years. 

All those years, Minhyun had been angry. Upset. Hopeful. And the last of which, he had hoped, was to meet him once again when he entered this academy. But he was expecting Hyunbin to join him as a new student in his _own_ school, running after him and calling him 'hyung' with bright spirits and shine in those long, long eyes. He had expected a more touching reunion, one that would have him holding back tears of his own as he gave the younger a big, welcoming hug, and that he could tell him how much he missed him. 

But those were fairytales of a hopeful sixteen, a man-child that was only starting to realise that reality was building blocks of his parents' - or their world's - chess game.

( He only got himself to blame, because who still believed in fables and tales at the age of sixteen? )

Instead he got Hyunbin's name writing in cursive ink on his letter, and a rigid and tall boy bowing to him in full-ninety degrees at the main hall of the first day. He got formalities and a polite smile, even if he's heard the younger regressed to casual language and a bright laugh though the last month that he would recognize despite the deepened tone. If not for the exact same features he would recall, Minhyun would have believed that it was the same name but a different person. 

Those eyes wouldn't lie. Minhyun would sooner turn to dust, than to forget how Hyunbin looked. There was recognition at first glance, but nothing more when the words 'please take care of me, masternim' echoed in the grand hall, and the raven could only hold back the spew of words and questions as they were reduced to a mere hum of acknowledgement.

For the first time in his life, Minhyun realised that he could have had the ability to hate, if it wasn't for the fact that this tainted memory included the very person he had loved as a child.

( He also hated the fact that despite everything, he was still glad to meet him again.

Even if they were no longer the fifteens with a different dream. )

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> quick update oh ho! this might be a more dry chapter that is supposed to help lay out the backdrop a little more for your reference. i hope you guys enjoyed it nonetheless. i kind of had an idea what to do next, so we shall see if it picks up pace. ; u ; as per usual, feel free to drop by my twitter [@mhb_sng](https://twitter.com/mhb_sng) as well as my [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/mhb_sng)! if anyone is feeling generous, here's my [ko-fi link](https://ko-fi.com/sonagi). see you in the next chapter, and please leave me lots of comments! ♡sng


	3. weekend

School had proceeded as per usual, but habits do take root in daily routine, and Minhyun found himself seeking a tiny bit of comfort in that as well. In between the soft exchange of words with his butler and burying himself in books, he made new acquaintances in classes as well. His mother would be proud of him, he supposed, simply for wanting to open up again after years of encasing himself in. It was hard not to regress, to let the icy exterior melt with the warming weather of April's Spring. It got even more difficult when he had to see the familiar face day after day, getting swamped by memories of the past as they carved into his heart one by one, a sore reminder of how things had changed so, so much. All he could do was to bare witness to the unfolding events, because frankly speaking, Minhyun had no idea what he was supposed to do.

Sling his arm around Hyunbin like old time's sake? Inviting him in for dinner when neither of them could look at each other in the eye in a private setting? 

The solution was to do none of that. To slip into the regulations and differences of being served and serving. The raven did not take pride in that, but there was unexplained solace in not having to do anything out of the ordinary just yet. So he continued to bury himself in books, finishing them in the span of days and picking up another one yet again. His current library wouldn't be able to hold any more books soon, the empty pockets of space where he placed a few figurines were now transported to the staircase's steps as books took their rightful ownership on the mahogany shelf.

"So, are you ready for the weekend? You live apart from your family, right?"

It would have been a fairly innocent question when asked a week prior. Minhyun would have smiled, mentioning about the bookstore he would like to spend a few hours in, before retreating to his private theatre within the comforts of his apartment. He would order some food, perhaps, or if he's in the mood of an evening breeze, to disappear for a run followed by purchase of commoner's snack carts en route home. But time made all the difference, and it wasn't simply asking for his personal schedule, as it was for an assignment.

The taller male straightened up, head tilting as he observed the bright smile and slightly crooked teeth of his classmate. It was his personal charm, Minhyun had to admit, and with a stunning visual that could rival actors on the big screens, Ong Seongwoo could have had thousands at his feet with the flash of his grin if he chose to. Even now, he could still have thousands at his feet, even if they were white-collars instead of starstruck fangirls. After the few sessions of moving his seat directly in front of him in between breaks and after class, Seongwoo had simply shove his spot directly in front of Minhyun every lesson. He wondered how the view would have looked like in the professor's eyes when he looked up, watching a blurb of three spots in a vertical line when there was a uniformed, satisfying space between every other student. 

If Minhyun hadn't liked Seongwoo enough, he would have called him an eye-sore. But the other had bothered to ask, cheeky grin on his face as he sat down with no room for rejection anyway, if he could move his seat. 'Am I blocking your view? I hope not. I'm just tired of pulling my chair here all the time after class or in between discussions, it's tiring, you get me? I'm too lazy for this, so I hope this is fine. Yes? Please?' he had said, lamenting with a bit of dramatic flair that could rival one other close friend Minhyun knew. In response, he had narrowed his eyes even when a smile tugged along his lips. The elevation provided more than enough head room to see clearly, not to mention Seongwoo's head was really small, the handsome sort as viewed in today's standards, the sort that he wished he himself had. Silent permission was given ( or in the classmate's words, 'silence means consent!' in the concept of social interaction ), and he was never quite able to get rid of him since.

Not that he wanted to. Seongwoo was a bubble of energy and entertainment, one that doesn't quite fit the usual narration of who you would expect to don that black and gold-rimmed blazer. It was a splash of color in his otherwise dull or even, mildly frustrating life, and he welcomed it with encouragements of a soft smile to sometimes, a motivating laugh. Compared to the other classmates that  hovered around like bees in search of honey, at least his reactions were relatively sincere. 

Plus he had an interesting surname. Ong. _Ong_. It's the sort that rolled off your tongue all too easily with a squeaky, nasal tone that was so peculiar it made you wonder out loud. And that's the effect he had on people, drawing attention to him in an easy, comfortable manner no matter what, making them do things they usually wouldn't have done. At first he questioned briefly about Seongwoo's odd attachment to him; he could have built a good circle around him in no time. Students, male or female, clamored for his attention. The bold ones would strike a conversation, while the shy ones peered from their own spots, but they circled around him, hoping, waiting for him to spare them a minute of time. Soon enough though, Minhyun had guessed why.

Because all rich kids had a flaw, and Seongwoo's own was _narcissism_. The heir of a fashion brand who had his own face plastered on the number CFs and wallpapers, his self-love was only apt to describe the attention-seeking, and loving, young man. For someone who seemingly not bothered to give him the time of the day, Minhyun was a prime target of his  pun try outs. Yet he knew that likewise, Seongwoo liked him enough to stay around, and the raven supposed it was a fair trade of friendship.

There was also something seemingly pure about the way he pulled his smile, the sort where his eyes disappear and head tilted up. It reminded Minhyun of puppy, or a seal that he's seen as a child, a little dumb and optimistic and pure. It was infectious too, and Minhyun smiled despite the urge to avoid the topic at hand, because this assignment was something he wasn't looking forward to at all.

"I wasn't aware there was going to be a huge change in my schedule," Minhyun spoke up, casually tiding over the question as he packed up his notebook and stationery neatly into his leather bag. The brown leather bag has no brand name attached to it, but the stitches and careful tailoring showed that it was an expensive handiwork. Trend or no trend, he always preferred keeping a low-profile, and clothes without the obvious luxury logos was always a better fit for his preference. He's not exactly a picky person either - he would wear something he swoop off a roadside store if it's comfortable to his sensitive skin ( just how many pieces fitted his checklist was another story altogether ).

"Ah, as expected," Seongwoo hummed, turning on the side so that one shoulder could rest against the front of Minhyun's table, "we have them by our sides every other day anyway, what difference does it make with two additional days this week, right?" Excitement was evident in the brunet's eyes however, and he spoke with much anticipation to expect over the weekend. Minhyun wished he could mirror the same elation, but there was none to be found. Instead of dashing Seongwoo's mood, he let him be, rambling off about the things he'd like to do, maybe trying to get his butler to run some errands because apparently, Daniel had the patience of a saint that Seongwoo didn't, and he was just interested where the line draws. "Also, we're going to catch a movie! Join us if you want," he added, turning his focus onto the taller male, who declined with a gentle shake of his head.

The conversation was cut short right there, as Seongwoo lit up upon the sight of his own butler - or buddy, as he often described to Minhyun. "Oh, our Kang Daniel, you're here!" he greeted, waving as his butler laughed quietly before bowing in return, a small forward tilt before bending further when he turned to face Minhyun. The chemistry between Daniel and Seongwoo was distinctive since the first time Minhyun saw them together. The butler with a puppy-like smile, always laughing after Seongwoo's jokes as the two walked side by side, it's hard to imagine them having anything short of an A for this weekend assignment, not when they've both chummy-up with each other naturally. The younger student had an easy-going nature, or so he heard, and thus, Minhyun supposed Daniel truly was capable of keeping up with the hyper mode Seongwoo sometimes had.

If he was honest, he could barely keep up with the storm of random ramblings in between class, not to mention listening to him for more than a few hours in a row. He suspected their ride home would be equally as noisy or even somewhat crazy; he was not one to judge if they were. It was probably ' _fun_ ', he thought to himself.

On the other hand, Hyunbin was softer in his greeting, mimicking the exact same from Daniel. For a moment he eyed this difference, and their dynamics - all four of them. Daniel's respect to Seongwoo was that of a friend, a more formal display given to him instead due to their lack of familiarity. What does that say about him and Hyunbin then, when the younger clearly held that same distance to his own master over someone else. Something was off, he supposed despite not being able to put a word to it, silently scribbling the incident in a memo at the back of his mind for later. Details, it's all in the details, and these details disturbed him more than it should have.

As Seongwoo threw his farewell with a thumbs up, slinging his arm over his butler so that the two could skip out of the classroom in high spirits, he turned his own view towards Hyunbin. Having eye-contact in a room full of people seemed like an easier task than being back home or in the privacy of the care. Having to tilt his head up slightly so that their eyes meet, he paused. If sitting side by side was proving to be a difficult event, Minhyun knew that the following weekend together could very likely go disastrous. 

There's no avoiding it, however.

"Masternim. It's time to leave."

For the first time, Minhyun noticed just the slightest hint of uncertainty. Perhaps it's the way he arranged his words, perhaps it's the way Hyunbin broke the gaze first. Or maybe it's from the way he bowed differently to him and his friend. It was oddly satisfying, albeit sickening so, but Minhyun had longed for some kind of humane emotions for so long that even the smallest, blink-and-you-will-missed-it moment was a victory in his standpoint. He stood up and buttoned his blazer, turning towards the stairs as everyone else also started to depart from school.

"Let's."

* * *

There was enough food for two at home, again. This time, he did not need to find a reason to ask him to stay for a meal. Minhyun had rehearsed lines after lines in the case he wanted Hyunbin to stay, but those lines never made it past the tip of his tongue sooner than an inaudible sigh. If there's anything good out of it, he guessed, was that this assignment would forced them both to bond, whether they liked it or not.

That wasn't significantly good, as an afterthought. Of all people, Minhyun should never expect it to be rainbows.

An assignment that require the butler to stay overnight to fulfill his butler duties in the real world was to be expected at some point, but Minhyun would not have guessed for it to be their first assignment together. He supposed it did make sense, because if they weren't a good fit, it's best to uncover earlier than later. With the first month pretty much an introduction to each other, this assignment would be a tell-tale sign of each pair's chemistry. At the end of it, the students would submit the evaluation of their partner according to the rubrics given. How the grades would be assigned was kept a secret, so honesty would be the best policy in this segment.

Or as honest as you required to make things easy for yourself. Writing 'we don't talk' seemed like a sure way to attain that beautiful 'B' grade; he preferred not.

"What would be the first order of business tonight?"

Minhyun set down his pair of chopsticks, dabbing the corners of his mouth with a piece of napkin. If there's something he learned from the butler academy, it would be that 'the first order of business' had to be a trademark 'questions to ask' for the butlers. Shower, homework, reading - that's the daily order of business he worked with. If anything, he certainly had no need for a butler to follow him around at all times. Minute chores such as washing a plate or sweeping the floor was something he could do himself, and something he sort of enjoyed. It's relaxing listening to the splash of water or the watch the whir as his mini robot vacuum come to life as he lazed on the couch. 

With someone else in the same living space, all this was altered. As his apartment had no spare bedrooms, with him turning the sole room into a full library and study, the only place for Hyunbin to sleep was the living room couch. Even if he was the houseowner, that fact alone made him want to retreat to the comforts of his own loft. 

He wasn't always like this. Living alone took a lot of time getting accustommed to. He's dreamed of his worst nightmares and woke up in the bleak of the night to an empty house, and he's learned that no amount of yelling would summon anyone to his side. There's no hands for him to hold, no one for him to pull into his arms. It took him three years to get used to the fact that once the skies darkened and his few friends left for home, there's no one else he could seek refuge in. Not his parents, whose work load he could only imagine now that he's an adult himself, and understood the reasons for their frustrations when he used to barge into his father's study as a child. Not his sister, who he loved and trusted by blood, when she had her own life to consume. Not even Mingi, who he viewed as the closest friend since Hyunbin's departure, could come close as the name to call.

Hyunbin was here now, but there was no way they would be sleeping on the same bed like they did as kids, or even on sleepovers as teens. It wasn't even about their matured physiques or awkwardly long limbs, but the thick wall between them couldn't be ignored. 

Right now, they weren't friends but master and butler, or two schoolmates ushered to work on the same project. 

"I'd be in my room after shower, so, you're dismissed for the night," he muttered, setting the napkin down as he pushed his bowl forwards, an indication that he's done for the meal. Butlers weren't required to wash the plates, as far as his mind recall. There were different roles between being a butler and a house servant, or kitchen staff and domestic helper. He was sure that would be challenged by some of his classmates in the game of abusing power, but in this apartment, he was not interested in that. Heir to a wealthy household or not, Minhyun was born with a pair of healthy hands more than capable of washing a mere porcelain bowl. If he was so strict about things, he would never have allowed Hyunbin to share the same table as him for a meal, for one.

While this apartment might not be the same as his home, it remained to be a place for him to unwind and rest his feet. Rules were appreciated and upheld if needed, but he wasn't strict on enforcing little power play at the moment. Maybe it's because the person involved was no other than Hyunbin, and Hyunbin always changed up too many of his rules.

No matter how many years had passed, he couldn't change that part of himself.

"My schedule for tomorrow, Hyunbin-ssi?" It was his turn to ask the question as he leaned against his chair, and Hyunbin too set his bowl down. Ever since the day's exchange of not calling him 'your highness', Minhyun had changed the way he addressed the younger as well. A give and take, and this way, the elder knew he could better sort out his own feelings, before things got too personal. All this right now was business, and he needed to remind himself of that.

"8am, morning call. Breakfast would be prepared by 8.30am according to your dietary menu submitted previously. The domestic helper is scheduled to arrive earlier, and I would oversee to make sure all things proceed per usual. Besides the noted meal hours at 11.30am and 6pm, your schedule remained free. Would you like to head out, _masternim_?"

Eat, read and sleep. That seemed like his most common schedule unless there was a family dinner, or Mingi had bugged him to head out time and time again. He liked having an empty schedule, some sort of freedom after the otherwise packed timetable on weekdays. However, he wasn't sure if that would work this particular weekend. As if the air in this space wasn't more stuffy than usual already.

"I'd like to visit the bookstore in the afternoon. Maybe we'd have our meal outside in the evening. I'm sure you can arrange that?" Following the taller male's actions as he cleared away the bowl and plates, Minhyun tilted his head for a second. It was a difficult thing to avoid superimposing his face onto the memories of the past; watching Hyunbin having a sense of responsibility when he was the pampered one was an odd sensation. It made him uncomfortable to think, to remember that he was ordering a childhood friend around at the snap of his fingers. 

Even then, he said nothing as the blond set the dishes in the sink, escaping to the bathroom without a second word least he showed any signs of weakness. Because Hyunbin had clearly moved on and excluded him out of his life, and it's high time he should, too.

* * *

This assignment proved to be more difficult than he expected, especially when he opened his eyes to a face full of Hyunbin, gently shaking him awake. The blurred figure slowly came to focus on the long eyes and pouty lips, and he jerked away even faster than his mind could churn. The hand that woke him up remained in the air before he dropped it, uttering a word of apology with a formal bow. The mob of blond hair then disappeared from sight along with trailing footsteps down the stairs. Minhyun had heaved, then buried his face into the pillows, groaning softly. Gone were the days he'd like waking up to the gentle call of his name, the traces of childhood long faded as a robotic ring replaced a human voice. Put Hyunbin into the mix, and it was an added shock element. 

He slowly slipped out of bed, noticing his pair of light grey slippers arranged in a way that he could reach when he got off the bed from the sides, instead of being at the bottom of his bed. The male took a moment to scan his room, letting his eyes wander to see if anything else had changed. Nothing. At least, not that he could gather at first glance. Breakfast was being prepared by the time he came down from his loft, nodding his had once in acknowledgement of the domestic helper's greeting. He could hear them conversing as before he closed the door to his bathroom, and a full meal was waiting upon his return. 

Hyunbin was wearing a neat white shirt with black pants and blazer, a rare image compared to his lackadaisical attitude of mismatched school uniforms. Breakfast was a set of warm porridge with side dishes of egg, stir-fried pork and vegetables, and radish kimchi. A cup of green tea was prepared as per his request. Taking an extra minute to look at his silverware, he took note of how spotless the chopsticks and spoon was. Granted, his housekeeper was well-versed in what she needed to do to keep the house clean down to the very last spoon, but things such as a precise layout down to the napkin under the spoon was definitely not her handiwork. Even if he compared it quickly to the long-serving butler back home, nothing was out of order so far. It wasn't nearly as perfect, but comparing a 2-month student in a butler academy to someone who worked in the household before he was born, there was no complains.

( Underneath his sharp eyes and perfectionistic nature, he was still ~~somewhat~~  an understanding person. )

There could only be one reason that Hyunbin strived to do his best, and it was for a good grade. That on it's own, was questionable ( was it? Could he account on his old experience with him, when they had both changed so much? ), and Minhyun would have guessed that this was the best time for Hyunbin to mess up if he wanted to. 

Because this assignment was clear. The test of chemistry was for one thing and one thing only, to find out if there was any alterations to the matches needed. Should there be a misfit, either on the miscalculations on some front, or a shaky match to begin with, this assignment would seal or break the deal. Considering how the first month's worth of 'your highness' and occasionally silent, taunts along the way that tested his patience, he just couldn't imagine Hyunbin being eager in the next. He shook his head, deciding not to read too much into it right now.

His movements stilled. There was only one set of meal prepared. Minhyun arched one brow slightly, looking up at his butler, who remained standing in straight posture.

"Are you not having your breakfast, Hyunbin-ssi?"

"I had my breakfast earlier, masternim." A formal bow, hands in front of him. "Thank you for extending your concern."

"Oh?" he pursed his lips. He supposed, he never did specified Hyunbin's plans in accordance to his own. There wasn't a tone of sarcasm detected, so he dropped the additional questioning. Merely nodding, Minhyun waved the tall figure away with a soft word of dismissal, and dug in. 

Lunch proved to be the same, as Minhyun was summoned to the meal with a deep voice commenting that the food was ready. Already prepared earlier by the domestic helper, Hyunbin had heated up the food, arranging it in a clear display in front of his usual seat. Bowl of rice, piping hot soup to the side, meat and side dishes in between his metal spoon and flat chopsticks. He usually did this himself, but he didn't bother stopping Hyunbin either way since his arrival last night. Having sat in the mini reading area under the stairs leading to his loft, the raven pretended to be immersed in the reading for the whole of the morning. Every now and then, he would look up to see where Hyunbin could disappear to, when he had access to a clear view of the living room. 

With the place as clean as it could be, there was little cleaning duties to busy with. Yet, the blond proved more than capable of disappearing. He suspected that the toilet was about to sparkle in glitter at the rate of him disappearing when there was clearly nothing else to do. Minhyun was almost waiting for him to ask if he could do his school work in the study, or to ask if he could head out. Yet, none of that. Avoidance, but not relieving himself of his responsibilities. The only one time he came by was to ask if he'd like something to drink, and Minhyun had replied with a casual 'fix me something'. He got a glass of milk, something he rarely had except for his cereal snack late into the night or as a quick breakfast.

Of all the drinks available, he fixed him a glass that clearly, he wasn't interested in. Eyeing the glass as he took in this information, he didn't bat an eye as he accepted it, dismissing him once again. By the time he got ready to leave for the bookstore, giving strict instructions for the other to dressed comfortably as he desire, he noticed the full-glass of milk was gone by the windowsills. 

Hyunbin was still decked in his white shirt and black blazer, now with a pair of black jeans instead of the more formal office pants. Minhyun hummed again, walking into the opened elevator and expecting the younger to follow suit. If he so insisted on drawing the distance, then so be it.

* * *

By the time Minhyun got ready for bed, he's already chained up a series of questionable behavior that kept sleep at bay. The day could be summerized with the word 'distracted'; adding a few more hours of that hardly seem like a difference. 

The bookstore trip was relatively normal. Hyunbin seemed to have no problems when it came to fulfilling exact instructions, turning into the shopping mall of his choice when spoken. In fact, while it was odd for the blond to request for permission to roam the bookstore when it used to be one of the places that bored him, Minhyun was all ready to overlook that - he too, relished in the fact that they were finally not stuck in corner of each other's eyes, being all too conscious of one-another in an awkward manner with no words to describe the experience. He was also willing to ignore the fact that Hyunbin actually _bought_ a book, not bothering to ask for his reason as he paid for it all with the swipe of his card ( certainly, the 'thank you masternim' in public had earned a few curious stares from the girls behind in the queue and he should specify never to address him as such in the future, but hearing the first sincere 'thank you' was an odd moment to wrap his head about ).

It was the _other_ things that bothered him. The glass of milk, when Hyunbin had a clear list of things that he preferred from the get go, down to his dietary plans from the domestic helper. To others, it might just be a drink, a harmless grab of the carton box when he opened the fridge doors. Except that the person grabbing it had at least known him for the over a decade. This wasn't much of a mistake as it was nearly _intentional_ , or he so suspected. The western restaurant where he had booked a table for dinner as well. The subtle changes in the bathroom in the form of shifted toiletries arrangement. 

All that was starting to bother him a lot more than he had expected, because it's the tiny changes in one's comfort zone that made it so strange yet so familiar, and it was throwing him off. On the other hand, everything else was a stellar job. The scheduling, how the place was kept tidy, even dressing himself neatly for the whole day, hair combed back so that not one strand of hair was out of place.

And if there's one thing Minhyun was uncomfortable with, it's the lack of understanding and having no answers to his own questions.

Needless to say, that was one difficult night to sleep in.

* * *

He woke up to the gentle shake of his shoulders again, and Hyunbin calling his name. No, not his name - his title. Tired from the late night rest and all goggly as he stirred, he frozed at the hand sweeping past his bangs. The warmth ghosted against his skin, a feathered touch that he couldn't help but think he was dreaming, By the time he sat up, the top of those blond hair had disappeared down the stairs yet again, leaving him reeling in the feelings of old memories flooding in. 

That touch was unfair, a foul play. Yet things went on normal in the household. The both of them continue to speak little with each other, and even as Minhyun seated himself right in the center of the whole apartment, on the couch to watch some television, Hyunbin managed to ease away from his view yet again. Once, he asked for permission to enter the study, and later on, Minhyun found the books on the table returned to the slots between the other books; a strange arrangement continued to be spotted, because instead of putting the third book in the trilogy at the empty spot where it should have been, he somehow managed to shift it into the first book, the odd array of colors from the hardcover making it an even more jarring lack of transition. 

Hyunbin was proving that carelessness and thoroughness could both come together in one person, even if it seemed more like a purposeful match forced upon each other, bind by a pack of ugly, brown masking tape. 

And it worked. It drove him into insanity, because of all the weeks ahead of wearing each other's thread out, the lack of sleep, that hint of warmth he could recognized anywhere mixed in with the cold shoulder, he's had enough. In less than 48 hours of having to occupy the same apartment, Minhyun has had enough.

Perhaps Minhyun was being impossible, but there was oddity whether Hyunbin did things the right way or the wrong way. Prim and thorough was never quite the image he would associate with the younger male, and yet he aced everything from the greetings to the preparations of schedules. On the other hand, the inconsistencies were curious, having a meal with him in one and rejecting the idea in the next day; pretending not to know his preferences when asked yet understanding his habits. There was inconsistencies and conflicts between what his actions and Minhyun was left guessing what he wanted.

To run away or to stay, Minhyun would have given him the bigger benefit of doubt if he wasn't so detached to him. For some reason, the more he soaked in the inconsistencies and information, the more it angered him. He was led along the pathway with each maneuver of Hyunbin's actions, taking the bait like a fish starved for his attention. By the second glass of milk he had for the day after supper, it was a clear message he couldn't ignore. How many full cups of that same drink did he need to toss down the sink to understand his preferences, even if they were to hypothetically not know each other at all prior to the assignment?

He could have written it all down in the review to complete, but he couldn't put this at the back of his mind any more.

"Hyunbin-ssi. Let's talk." Dropping himself onto the couch after pouring himself a cup of water, he crossed one leg over the other, hands at ease on his lap. There was no room for otherwise, and his butler looked like he was well-prepared to be summoned. He stood by, towering over Minhyun with his hands held in front of him. Despite the open proposal in the elder's tone, the stance between them made it clear who was in-charge: a discussion that looked more like a one-way interrogation in the cell room of a living room. "Tell me, regardless of the formalities you so insist on - _what do you want_?"

His eyes challenged the younger. Wavering, his eyes wandered under Minhyun's direct stare for a split second. Silence fell as both parties waited for an answer. It amazed him a bit to see how Hyunbin seemed conflicted, as if he was still deciding which routes to jump into despite planning them for a long while. 

"...It's not up to me, masternim."

The raven took in a sharp intake of breath at the quiet voice. In a way, what he said was true, but it didn't make things any less infuriating. He's given the blond a chance to speak up, and clearly, that was a refusal in his eyes, because Minhyun knew exactly what he wanted. He wanted Minhyun to fail him in this evaluation. 

He wanted a re-assignment.

That decision was never in Hyunbin's hands, so he did all that he could have done instead. Mixing up the blues with the red, picking out the smallest things that annoyed his senses and ticked his nerves. Not too much of it so that it was obvious, but just enough to slip in the seeds that they were more than just uncompatible. Hyunbin knew him well, too well down to the very last straw. Regardless of his original intent, Minhyun felt played as he tried to work his own way out of this sticky situation they're both in. It irritated and angered the raven, not bothering to conceal the displeasure reflected in his orbs and flames burning under his tongue as he forced back the series of obscenities threatening to spill from his lips. 

Not an ounce of _respect_ in his erratic, unexplainable behavior. Respect for him as a person.

( Respect for the bonds they once had. )

If Hyunbin wanted freedom, then he picked the wrong method.

"Since you don't seem to know what you want exactly, Hyunbin-ssi, let me tell you what I want," Minhyun said, leaning back into the soft leather couch, eyes hardened. It was as if the days of accumulated displeasure had spilled over, along with the waves of questions and unhappiness. This underlying betrayal that prick at his heart. The accumulated stressors over the months and years that was wearing this thread so thin, so fine, that it just split into several tiny little fibres and hair in all sort of directions. The result was a resolution, and if Hyunbin didn't have one, he did. 

( _Just what did he do to deserve all this? The disappearance? Him wanting to leave again?_

 _Was all that time spent a complete lie?_ )

"Three years," he said, loud enough for both of them to hear as Hyunbin looked up right into his eyes. Minhyun didn't look away, his lips purses into a fine line to stop the quaver of his voice. It was weary, worn, words that sound like they should be spoken from an old man and not a man who just celebrated his twenties. "Those three years, _I want them back_."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: that's right, ong was the fashion brand heir that was talking to minhyun in chapter 1. also this chapter might be quite messy as well, i apologize for that. we'd see more of hyunbin's perspectives next chapter when it comes! as per usual, feel free to talk to me or ask me any questions that you're confused about here, on my [twitter](https://twitter.com/mhb_sng) or my [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/mhb_sng). please do leave lots of comments if you can~ owo. also, happy 1-year anniversary since minhyunbin followed each other on instagram! even though it was a short-lived event, it was a field day and one of the earlier beginnings of this ship. see you all soon. ♡sng


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning: mentions of death 

He got an A for the assignment.

Even his professor was surprised, eyes wide with a new-found recognition when he called for his name, handing over the grade card with the bare minimum rubrics attached. The finer details of what was written by Minhyun was not within it, but he could guess from the number of ticks in the survey form that his master somehow found a way to come with a lie satisfactory enough to pass off as the truth. Daniel had given him an excited thumbs up, nudging him when he took his seat at the back of the classroom, giving a weak smile as the mere response to his actions.

He said he wanted those three years back. 

Three years...it was more like five. 

Ever since he gained the ability to recall upon a memory, Minhyun had always been there. The elder was the one who held his hands so that he could fall asleep, being one that was so easily startled by the slightest bump in volume or the flicker of a night light. He was the one who held his hand when he broke his arm or injure himself, the one who carried him on his back when they were kids so young they knew nothing about their parents' grind nor the meaning of responsibility. At least, it was that for him. He was spoiled, pampered upon as the sole child in his family and Minhyun's family all the same, like their second son who came to play nearly every other day.

Growing up, they never quite drifted apart either. Everywhere Minhyun went, Hyunbin chased after, running after the elder with tears and snot running down his puffy cheeks. He chased after his hyung's shadow that he almost became one himself, waiting for him to come home after school to studying in the same middle school together. From an homeschooled environment where Minhyun was everything, heading to middle school only made things more clear: Minhyun wasn't just his everything, he was his world. He would even chase after the things the elder liked, or even Minhyun's height. He wanted to be like him, but more than so, he wanted to be around him. 

Hyunbin was a puppy chasing after his owner's tail, loving him in the way that a two-year-old, ten-year-old and fourteen-year-old could ever understood about love. Minhyun was his best friend and family, he was his playmate and mentor. They were partners in crime, they were schoolmates, and they were always, _always_ , close. 

( Because it was them against everyone else, and it had always been them. )

Until that summer, where a phone message changed everything. In the span of a few hours, he went from basking in the warmth of the sun on the floor of the wooden cabin, skin grazing just slightly against the other's with intertwined fingers recounting the stories of their own day, to disappearing off the face of the earth from his world. He supposed he was the first to run away, not by choice but by circumstances. Minhyun might have seen it as him walking away, but likewise in Hyunbin's perspective, it's all and one in the same.

There was fear in his eyes when he left, his mother tugging him along with quiet sobs and his butler ushering him to the car, throwing what little luggage they managed to pack in the span that it took for him to return. The next few weeks was spent moving, moving, more moving. From house to house, he leaned against the locked doors of the temporary bedroom, listening to the soft, low murmurs of the adults a few doors down. His mother's frantic voice, raising in volume before she was hushed by the voices of the house owners. They were his distant relatives and close family friends, people he's seen as a child, all decked in suits and ties surrounding his father.

'I have to keep you safe!' she said, yelling, _hysterical_. Then she would break down into sobs, curling up with hands covering her ears, until  Hyunbin took everything it took to hold himself together and pull her into his arms. He never understood why they had to leave, but at that time, in between swallowing the news of his father's death and comforting his mother's cries, the reason wasn't as important as making sure he doesn't lose her mother in this madness.

And amid all this, where was he, and his promises that he would always be there when he needed him the most?

When his father became but a mere fragment of his memory, a cold body left in the emptied home? 

When he was separated by an ocean, so near yet so far, with nothing but a fading whisper of his name in mind?

It too months of moving from one place to another being hidden from public eye for the thought to settle in. Minhyun wasn't coming for him, and he probably never will. The heat of summer left with the sweep of chilling wind, and when he stepped out into the sunlight, soft snow under his black boots, gone was the days he had curled up in a thin mattress, wishing for days to turn back time.

Just like the empty shell of cicadas turning to dusts under the trees where they shared their first kiss, Hyunbin left the old days behind, past memories now disintegrated into nothingness, remnants locked in the Pandora box of his heart.

* * *

Hyunbin was 18 when he returned to Korea, to the homeland he's given up.

The threat was gone, for now, and with everything settled, his life was returned to him. Not in full, because nothing could redeem the missing years of his life, but it was enough. More than being on the run, more than hiding away.

Entering the butler academy became a goal. There were a different set of requirements to being accepted here, especially when applying for the scholarship. One, potential applicants much possessed qualities of a great butler, in terms of loyalty, patience, quick wits, memory and more. Two, potential applicants have to be well-verse in general knowledge and affairs of the world, to provide adequate knowledge to their masters if required. Three, potential applicants should have the basic knowledge of household chores, which would be further taught in depth in school. Four, potential applicants have to upkeep their grades not only as a butler, but as a student in their field of studies in the provided courses of humanities, social sciences, businesses or design. Five, potential applicants have to be physically fit, and be willing to learn the art of self-defence or other martial arts as required by the school syllabus.

( He could reiterate everything from memory, words burned into his mind at the very first open orientation to selected few. For years, he would never imagine himself sitting in a posh chair listening to butler philosophy. He's the master, not the servant, but beggars cannot be choosers. )

It's a lie to say he hadn't thought of the possibility of meeting Minhyun again. Especially when he knew for sure, that the elder would be within the very same campus .

Yet, when recognition flashed upon those chocolate orbs, the first instinct that rose within him was the urge to run. Between his loud blue blazer to the raven's sophisticated smart, black suit with gold thread embellishments, there was a striking class different that sunk into him like humiliation of a slap across the cheeks. It stung, causing him to make a awkward sound of bitterness that he swallowed thickly, quickly.

They were always very different people. Minhyun, the class president, the admired student, the role model everyone, including him, looked up. And then there's Hyunbin \- him - the kid with a bright but sometimes silly laugh, good at sports but struggled in academics, a little slow, but always laughing, even at himself. They're different, even from the time of birth, their families being taught very different values and thinking. But the difference has never been marred like this, so jarringly it hurts.

Yes, _humiliation_ was the word, because of all those years before where their dream was to conquer the world with silly innovations when they enter society as the elites they were born to be, he was now a mere servant chasing after the mark of where  Minhyun's shadow had touched and left. Because the elder's pair of eyes was clear, and they read this: _what in the world are you doing there?_

Like the invisible line that drew between the polished toes of their leather shoes, there was an unbridgeable gap between them, formed from being five years apart. 

It was ironic, because it felt like all the years before them suddenly didn't matter now that they're placed into this fixed hierarchy of leader and follower; but it was exactly because of what they used to share, that turned against him.

Too many things have happened for him to dial back the clock. He could never give him back the three years and he wished he could, because it meant that none of those things happened. HIs father would have still been alive, his mother wouldn't have been pushed to the end, and he wouldn't have been here in the butler academy. 

Now, he had to repay it in the next three years. At one point, he would have been angry, and he would have rejected this reality.

But if one were to ask him now, he would admit that perhaps, just perhaps, he didn't mind it too much either.

* * *

 

> _"...rumor has it that a member of the royal family would soon be engaged...eyes were on the crowned prince, but it has since been denied earlier th..."_

"The royal family is a flashy bunch, aren't they?"

"...Good afternoon to you too, Seongwoo-ssi."

Minhyun slipped the grading slip into a folder, facing down, and then packed his books neatly into a pile. Eyes still on the table as he moved, slowly, dragging out time, his mind wandered aimlessly.

His final grade was an A.

Of course it would be, he had made sure of that. In his report, Hyunbin was flawless. And if he were to look at it, there was nothing wrong with the procedures he did. Minhyun was served, even if it was not the way he would have liked. So technically, he hadn't lied, even if he airbrushed the facts with fanciful writing and phrases, pulling the focus away onto the strengths. His essay was full of praises, so much so that he had to tone it down a tad upon revision, and then submit it with a huge black tick on the agreement clause to finalize their pairing. 

Just like that, with a 300-word essay and a checkbox, Minhyun shackled their fates together for the remaining three years.

Minhyun knew he was the first to mix in private emotions in a school-based assignment, but there was no way back and he had no regrets. Certainly, he's thought about filing the request form to change his assigned butler before, but every time he placed the empty form back into his drawers and let it sit as he went on his daily schedules in the day. At night, he would think about it again, running his finger down the page with tables to fill, and the process would repeat. 

In the books he's read about love, they often shared this concept where you let someone go because of how much love you had for them. Minhyun found that a difficult concept. Perhaps, it's because his knowledge of this subject was rare; he knew nothing of love, because how can one ever let go of the person they knew they love? He liked to think of himself as someone who wanted to fight for a chance by keeping the person he loved by his side, instead of letting them go so easily. That was, however, a flawed romance that should only exist in fiction.

Here in reality, when the opportunity for him to do it arise, he came to understand that concept was skewed, _insane_. Yet, he played along with it.

What he's doing was selfish, yes, and selfish was something he could deal with. But it was the guilt that he couldn't. Like a tyrant tying down a prisoner, that's what he did with this submitted assignment. Hyunbin would stay by his side whether he liked it or not for the next three years, and what would he gain from it?

There was no fighting chance since the time he left. Like a spoiled child, Minhyun was holding onto a blind hope that he should have left locked in the Pandora box years ago. But Hyunbin's return had opened that, never mind if the circumstances had already changed. Even if there was a fighting chance, he's already ruined it with the red A smeared across the papers. It's insane thinking how a project work could end up being like a life contract of someone else - how power held by few could decide the years of a handful with a singular signature or a lie, even.

Alas, there are no 'what if's. 

Minhyun could only accept the consequences. He supposed, if Hyunbin hated him or continued to be indifferent, maybe he too, could finally learn to put this past behind him. So yes, he was a selfish, stubborn brat, and he saw no way out of this right now. Refused to see another way out of it now. 

( Deep down, he just wanted him back. Just wanted them back the way it was. )

With a practiced smile, he looked up and watched as Seongwoo tried to take a peek at his grades, laughing when the latter gave him a look of mild annoyance. It was soon replaced by his usual tactics, handsome smile and exaggerated self-bragging inclusive, before he turned his focus onto the news flash on the tv screens of the lecture room. The TV were only to be used for lessons, but no one truly bothered with such minute rules in their rule book. In between classes and after, someone would grab the remote or slip their mobile phones onto the adapter, playing random clips or leafing through TV shows.

In this school, the rich runs the place. In that case, none were as smug as the students with their invisible labels of their family's corporate names tagged on their backs.

"That said, what do you think of it?"

"...sorry, you were saying?"

"The royal wedding? Heard that The Shilla has already closed off the arena to prepare for the upcoming wedding. I mean, even though they aren't the royal-royal family, you know."

"How would I know?" Minhyun cracked a grin, shaking his head at the way Seongwoo speaks, like a child with dramatic gesticulation. But this time, Minhyun didn't miss what he said. "What makes you think they are non-royal-royal members?" The raven tilted his head to the side, eyes roaming past the classmate's facial features, the tease on the tip of his tongue had the slightest bit of... _curiosity._ For a moment,  Minhyun thought he saw the slightest flicker in his eyes, before he was back at it again, waving his hairs in the air dismissively while shaking his head.

"Well, I mean, if it's the crowned prince, we should have heard all about it already. Dispatch would have been all over it, and you would have thought _we'd_ hear just the slightest bit about it. Since there's zero news, I guess it's probably a cousin or something. You know. _Aren't royal-royal._ "

To that, Minhyun could only shrug. The matters of the royal family were complicated, and something he would prefer not to dabble in. After all, as his father had said, it had nothing to do with him. The raven's dreams were simple, to graduate, to pursue his little interests, to spend the rest of his days playing the role of the perfect son. Maybe he could be lucky enough to find love along the way, like his sister, who was getting engaged. Or was that even love? He and his sister were close, but no longer when they grew up. Real life commitments came, and then family commitments. After all, their family too, had responsibilities that no one else could shoulder.

Besides, maybe he wouldn't even find love, because he wasn't like his sister, a big shot lawyer that's known in the financial circle, climbing her way to the top based on her tough manners and ambition. Maybe he wouldn't, because he was the only male in the family, something his sister had hinted time and time again that his life was never quite his own to control. The same way Hyunbin's was never his to control. 

_The same way Hyunbin would never be his. _

Eyes trailed to the bright bold words of Seongwoo's pullover, drawn across his sleeve, a brand name that his family owned. The work itself was expensive, each thread looked like it was hand sown into place, a muted luxury hinted upon the almost-plain looking fabric, but closer inspection and one would know the softness of the fabric isn't for the common man.

Which reminds him. 

Slowly loading his items into his bag, Minhyun stood up as well, successfully stopping Seongwoo in his endless ramble with a quirk of a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.

"Seongwoo-ssi, how did you know I was living apart from my family?"

He never once changed his address since he applied for school, never once revealed his address to anyone. All packages sent to his house were initially sent to his family, done by the trusted butler to do the job every other week. Because of that, the return address was always the same. He was just that much of a private person after all, taught to focus on these details by his father since he had grasped the concept of a memory. But the one package sent from his classmate was different. A return address listing the fashion company name, complete with an outrageously bright-colored logo sticker on the box, delivered by courier.

For that, it was Seongwoo's turn to shrug, the brunet grinning so wide his teeth was showing. "Ah, I don't, really. I just got the address after calling your house." 

Mysterious indeed. His manners were unapologetic. "Persuasive aren't you?" he decided eventually, laughing off the matter as he shook his head, the latter simply smiling and tucking his hands into the pockets of his pants. Seongwoo was charming and Minhyun knew that he had his ways. If it was someone else, he would have hated it, but when it comes to Seongwoo, he somehow trusted him. So far. As much of an aloof character he carried as a mask, Minhyun knew he was someone that's far more than that. Besides, he had a feeling that it wasn't some average personnel that revealed the information.

Everyone in this academy harbored their own demons, and everyone wore the mask of human skin in the day.

He would wait till the family event then. After all, he hadn't talked to mother in months.

Fingers neatly flattening the flap of his bag just as Seongwoo's face lit up, hands waving in the air in greeting of his long-time buddy. The raven didn't even need to turn around, because there's only one person that could elicit such reactions. The large puppy figure appeared beside him, before hopping over the desk down to the lower level, where his master was standing. A shadow loomed on the table, and Minhyun merely pushed his bag towards him. There was an air of silence, Seongwoo and Daniel looking at them both, as if waiting for one of them to say anything.

But there was none. And so the duo turned away, waving their goodbyes, half jogging out of this odd atmosphere. Seongwoo cast a second look, but with a shrug, he's out of the door, arm sling around his pal.

How nice, Minhyun had thought. If things were the same, would that be them too?

Alas, that was impossible.

"...I hope you don't regret it."

It was Hyunbin who spoke first, voice soft, so much so that for a split second, Minhyun was sent back to his old memories. The time when young Hyunbin was grabbing onto the corner of his shirt, relying on him, looking up to him. Believing in him, even in his own moments of insecurity. This Hyunbin, he knew, and he knew too well. 

"I never do."

He turned first, walking past the taller male and down the stairs, head held high, even if his heart sank. He does. He regretted it, he hated it, and more importantly, he knew, he could never hurt him. 

But he did it all the same.

"As you wish, masternim." 

And it was back again, the same Hyunbin he's dealt with over the weekend, the one so eerily distant. He closed his eyes for an extended second, breathing in.

Did he really wish for this? 

Only time will tell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: finally an update ; o ; do you guys miss me? i know this is another filler-like episode but i swear things are moving on track...! if you've seen the tag, then you might have guessed this was coming, sort of. i have more ideas and more backdrop are coming. take a guess at what minhyun's household does for a living? owo and more importantly, hyunbin house used to do for a living. if you guessed it right...you get brownie points! hehe i hope you guys enjoyed this long-overdue update. as per usual, feel free to drop by my twitter @mhb_sng as well as my curious cat! sfeel free to drop by my twitter [@mhb_sng](https://twitter.com/mhb_sng) as well as my [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/mhb_sng)! see you in the next chapter, and please leave me lots of comments! ♡ sng

**Author's Note:**

> hello! so this is the very first chapter which i wrote in one sitting. as mentioned, i don't know how this story goes. there's no drafts, no plan, just plain ol' writing. we shall see how this works out. please leave comments and suggestions, they really motivate me to work harder as well ; o ; and feel free to drop by my twitter [@mhb_sng](https://twitter.com/mhb_sng) as well as my [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/mhb_sng)! see you next chapter as well.^^ also, if anyone is feeling generous and would like to donate a coffee, feel free to visit [my ko-fi link](ko-fi.com/sonagi). ♡sng


End file.
